I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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