David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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