worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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