ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize