I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize