My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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