Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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