people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize