2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize