I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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