vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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