Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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