WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
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Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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