he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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