im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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