Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
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Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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