I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize