did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize