found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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