If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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