Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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