i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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