I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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