i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize