Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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