my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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