You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize