oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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