Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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