What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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