Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
