Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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