it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
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I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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