First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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