I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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