So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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