i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize