I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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