saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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