This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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