My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just want to make out with him forever
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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