I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize