theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My boob is missing a layer of skin
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize