It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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