I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize