what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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