honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize