I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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