Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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