hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize