i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
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buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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