Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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